


Of Lions and Pronouns

by samlover14



Series: Of Lions and Pronouns [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Anxiety, Dysphoria, Fluff, Gryffindor Dan, Hufflepuff Phil, M/M, Trans Character, trans!dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 22:53:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8178865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samlover14/pseuds/samlover14
Summary: Of all the subjects taught at Hogwarts, gender identity isn’t one of them.  It didn’t come easily, but he eventually found his way.  And he never could have done it without Phil.  Hufflepuff!Phil and Gryffindor!Dan
Phan Hogwarts!AU with trans!Dan, much fluff, such AU, wow,
Warnings: body image/dysphoria,anxiety??





	

When Danielle was born, her name went on the list for attending Hogwarts.  She came from a pureblood family, so it wasn’t a surprise.  She had bright chocolate brown eyes, a few wisps of brown hair, and remarkably beautiful eyelashes for a newborn.

 

When Danielle was four, she accidentally did magic for the first time.  Of course it wouldn’t have been anything simple like making a book fly across the room.  No, Danielle set the peach tree in the backyard on fire.  Her parents simply smiled and put it out easily.  She would someday be a powerful witch.

 

When Danielle was nine, she was already pretty adept with magic, but preferred to read in her room.  Well, she didn’t _prefer_ reading in her room, but it was better than the alternative: trying to socialize with the neighborhood children.  There were a few other wizarding children in the village where the Howell family resided, but Danielle didn’t get along with any of them.  The boys teased her for wanting to do “boy things” and she never quite understood what all the “girl things” were about.  So she kept to herself.

 

* * *

 

 

When Danielle was ten (but nearly eleven), she got her Hogwarts letter, and was generally unsurprised.   It arrived by owl, as did all of the Howell family mail, and contained a welcome letter along with a list of supplies she would need for Hogwarts.

 

“Come on, Dani, you’re dawdling!” Mrs. Howell sighed, holding her hand out for Danielle to take as if she were a toddler.

 

“I was just looking at the brooms,” Danielle said, hurrying to catch up with her parents.

 

“You don’t need a broom yet, dear,” Mrs. Howell said.  “You’re only a first year, you’re not allowed one.”

 

“Marcus has one, he’s been flying around for ages,” Danielle complained.

 

“You’re not Marcus,” Mrs. Howell said.

 

“Why, because Marcus is a boy?” Danielle snapped.

 

“Darling, you know it is not because Marcus is a boy,” Mrs. Howell said.  “I just don’t think it’s safe for you to be flying.”

 

“If you buy Adrian a broom before he goes to Hogwarts, I swear to Merlin,” Danielle muttered under her breath.

 

“What would you like for a pet, dear?” Mrs. Howell changed the subject.

 

“A Shiba Inu,” Danielle replied immediately.

 

“You can have an owl or a cat or a toad,” Mrs. Howell said.

 

“I’m not responsible enough to own a pet, I can barely remember to tie my own shoes,” Danielle grumbled.

 

“Okay, no pet,” Mrs. Howell said.  “But you’re still not getting a broom.”  Danielle rolled her eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

On September First, Danielle boarded the Hogwarts Express and said good-bye to her parents.  As it was, she didn’t know anyone on the train, besides Marcus and a few other boys from down the road, and she definitely didn’t want anything to do with them.  She ventured down the train to find an empty compartment, but even at the very end, she only found a compartment that already contained someone.  A black-haired, blue-eyed someone.  She must have spent two minutes psyching herself up to ask if she could sit in that compartment before the door opened and the boy looked at her, smiling.

 

“Did you want to come in?” he asked.  Danielle looked like a deer in the headlights.

 

“Y-yes,” she stuttered, entering the compartment and sitting nervously.

 

“I’m Phil,” the other said.

 

“Danielle,” she replied.  “Um, call me Dani.  If you want to.”

 

“Do you want me to?” Phil asked.  Danielle nodded.  “Nice to meet you, Dani.”

 

“Nice to meet you too, Phil,” Danielle replied.

 

“First year?” Phil asked.

 

“Is it that obvious?” Danielle replied.

 

“Only a little bit,” Phil chuckled.  “I remember first year.”

 

“What year are you?” Danielle asked.

 

“Second,” Phil puffed his chest out.  “Hufflepuff.  Where are you hoping to be?”

 

“I don’t know,” Danielle admitted.  “Is there a special place for people who are completely anti-social nerds?”

 

“I think it’s called the library?” Phil laughed.  Danielle cracked a smile when she rolled her eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

When they got to Hogwarts, they parted ways as Danielle had to take the traditional boat ride across the lake, but Phil waved to her as the first years walked nervously into the Great Hall.

 

“Howell, Danielle!”

 

She was nearly shaking as she took a seat on the stool, and Professor McGonagall dropped the Sorting Hat on her head.

 

_Hmm_ , the hat mused.  Danielle just tried to keep breathing instead of screaming.  _Lots going on inside your head, that’s for sure.  Plenty of courage, I see.  Not a bad mind, either.  There’s talent, oh yes.  And a nice thirst to prove yourself.  But where to put you?_ The hat needed to shut the hell up and just pick something, anything, Danielle didn’t care at this point, she just wanted to be off this stool and blended back into general obscurity.  

 

_GRYFFINDOR!_

 

Bloody brilliant, Danielle thought bitterly.

 

It wasn’t until Danielle’s third year that she really started cracking down on people calling her Dani.  She’d always loathed the name Danielle, it was far too feminine for her.

 

“What do you mean you hate being a girl?” Phil asked as they sat by the lake one day in October.

 

“I mean I fucking hate it,” Dani said simply.  “There is not a single thing about it that I like, and it makes me uncomfortable in my own skin whenever someone reminds me.”

 

“That’s not… generally how people feel about themselves,” Phil said.

 

“I am well aware of that,” Dani snorted.  “I literally hate everything about myself.  I hate my face, I hate my hair, I hate my shoulders, I hate my waist, I hate my voice, I hate my hands, I hate these sacks of shit.”  She indicated her breasts.

 

“I don’t think anything I say here is going to convince you otherwise,” Phil said sadly.  “I’m sorry you feel that way and I wish I could make it better for you.”

 

“I don’t know how to make it better,” Dani said.  “I nearly have a fuckin anxiety attack every time Professor Flitwick calls me ‘young lady’, and don’t even get me started on ‘Miss Howell’.”

 

“Maybe you should talk to somebody?” Phil suggested.

 

“I’m talking to you,” Dani said. 

 

“Somebody who actually knows something about anything,” Phil said.

 

“You think I’m the kind of person who just goes around telling strangers how I feel?” Dani asked.  “This is my third year here, and you’re still the only person I want to see at the end of the day.”

 

“Thank you?” Phil said, taken aback.  Dani sighed.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Phil sat down next to Dani at the Gryffindor table at breakfast.  

 

“What are you doing here?” Dani frowned.

 

“I am trying to solve your problems,” Phil said, setting a book on the table.  _The Anthology of Crises: Existential, Quarter-Life, Identity, Creative, and More_.

 

“Are you actually joking with me?” Dani asked.  “Are you shitting down my leg?”

 

“Sorry, I thought it would help,” Phil said quietly, standing up and leaving the table, but leaving the book for Dani.  She glared at it, but did end up reading it.  It took her a while to get through the whole thing, but Phil didn’t dare bring it up again, though they talked almost every day, either out by the lake or in the Great Hall during free periods.

 

_Gender Identity_.  There it was, the exact information she needed.

 

* * *

 

 

“I read your dumb book,” Dani said.

 

“Did it help?” Phil asked.

 

“Sort of,” Dani said.  “I think I want to go by the singular ‘they’ pronoun.”

 

“Okay,” Phil beamed.

 

“I think I’ll be a lot more comfortable if I just make everything gender neutral,” Dani said.  Phil smiled, and Dani did too, for what felt like the first time in years.

 

It took a lot of policing people, but eventually even the teachers were using Dani’s correct pronouns, and there were even a few more students who felt more comfortable with neutral pronouns.  Dani was proud with their work.  They’d never been much proud of anything they’d done, but this… This was good.

 

* * *

 

“Phil, did you see it?!  DID YOU SEE IT?!!  We have one in Gryffindor Tower, and I know there’s one in Slytherin, do you have one in Hufflepuff????” Dani almost screamed, running up to Phil on the first day after the Welcome Feast, Dani’s fourth year.

 

“Yes! We have one too!” Phil said happily.  “I saw it and thought of you.  You did that, Dani.  You should be proud of yourself.  You brought non-binary dorms to Hogwarts.”

 

“I did that,” Dani said, in tears, hugging Phil.  “No.  You did that.”

 

“Me?  What did I do?” Phil asked, hugging Dani back.

 

“You gave me that book.  I would still be miserable if you hadn’t done that, and none of this would have happened,” Dani said.

 

“I was just trying to help,” Phil said, as their hug ended, and they proceeded into the Great Hall for breakfast.

 

“You did help.  You helped so much,” Dani said.  “More than you can imagine.”

 

“I just wanted to make you happy,” Phil said.

 

“I am happy,” Dani said.  “I’m the happiest I could be right now.”

 

“Good,” Phil smiled.

 

* * *

 

 

Dani knew that being nonbinary didn’t mean looking androgynous, but that didn’t stop them wanting to try.  During third year, they’d cut their hair short, with a long fringe in front to cover most of their face.  And now that nonbinary was officially recognized by the castle, Dani wouldn’t be getting dress code violations for wearing pants instead of skirts under their robes anymore.  That was more detentions than they really needed.

 

Also in fourth year, Dani tried out for the Quidditch team.  They weren’t a terrible flyer, and the team needed a Seeker.  The Captain chose Dani for the position over six other applicants.  Dani would never forget how smug the letter they’d written home to their mother was.

 

Mrs. Howell hated Dani’s new haircut and Dani was quite frankly afraid to even mention the word nonbinary in their mother’s presence, so it was safe to say Mrs. Howell wasn’t exactly informed on Dani’s Hogwarts escapades… except where Phil was involved.  Dani never stopped talking about Phil, and even convinced their mother to let them go to Manchester alone to visit Phil the summer after their fourth year.  Usually, visiting other wizarding dwellings wasn’t a huge deal, as the Floo Network existed, but Phil was muggleborn and his family’s house wasn’t connected, so Dani actually took a Muggle train from Wokingham to Manchester.  The summer was perfect, Dani was 15, Phil was 16, and they spent entire days laying in the field near Phil’s house, watching the clouds, taking in the scenery, and kissing.

 

* * *

 

 

Their first kiss was during Dani’s fourth year, after they’d made the Gryffindor Quidditch team, during the first Hogsmeade visit of the year.

 

“Do you want to go to Hogsmeade?” Dani asked Phil nervously.

 

“Of course,” Phil replied, taken aback at the question.  They always went to Hogsmeade together.  What was different about today?

 

“But do you want to go to Hogsmeade with _me_?” Dani asked.

 

“…of course?” Phil asked, confused.

 

“Like on a date,” Dani clarified.  Phil’s eyes got wide, but then he grinned.

 

“I thought you’d never ask me,” he said.

 

Instead of going to any of the attractions in Hogsmeade, they opted for sitting on the hill near the Shrieking Shack, eating a picnic lunch Phil had gotten from the kitchens.

 

“Has this really been a date?  I don’t feel like this is any different than usual,” Phil said.  “I’m sorry, I’ve never been on a date before.”

 

“Neither have I,” Dani said.  “I think… I think I know something that makes it a date for sure.”  Dani locked eyes with Phil and moved closer, neither looking away until their faces were mere centimeters apart, then they both closed their eyes instinctively and went in for the kiss.  Their noses bonked together.

 

“That was objectively terrible,” Phil remarked, rubbing his nose.  Dani swatted his hand away, grabbed his face in both hands, and kissed him full on the lips.

 

“Sorry, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Dani blushed, looking down into their lap, fringe covering their face, embarrassed.

 

“I think I have an idea,” Phil smiled.  “And I think we should do it more often.”

 

It became a thing.  But it wasn’t even a huge deal of a thing, they were datefriends, the gender-neutral word Dani had come up with/discovered to replace boyfriend and girlfriend.  They were datefriends that sometimes blew each other kisses across the Great Hall, or between classes.  It wasn’t a big deal, really.

 

At some point they’d said they loved each other for the first time since they’d started dating, which wasn’t a huge deal either, since they’d said it to each other when they’d just been best friends.  They were both still kids, and nothing was really real.

 

* * *

 

 

It wasn’t until Dani’s sixth year that they made another large step.  They’d been living in the nonbinary dorm with all the other nonbinary Gryffindors (this year there were eight of them), and everything was objectively fine.

 

“Morning, Dani,” Phil said, offering them a cup of to-go coffee he’d stolen from the kitchens on his way up to the Entrance Hall. “Breakfast by the lake?”

 

“Sure,” Dani replied.

 

“I can’t believe this is my last year at this place,” Phil sighed, looking out across the lake.

 

“Me neither,” Dani said.  “I’m going to miss you.”

 

“We’ll keep in touch.  Plus you have other friends,” Phil pointed out.

 

“Not really.  Louise is in your year, and I don’t really talk to Chris that much anymore,” Dani said.  “And you’re my boyfriend, you dick, I’m going to miss you whether you like it or not.”  Dani had once again spent the entire summer in Manchester.

 

“We have a whole year left, Dani,” Phil berated them.  “Stop doing that thing where you worry about stuff before you should be worrying about it, like when you started worrying about your OWL scores at the beginning of your fourth year.”

 

“I was wondering something,” Dani completely changed the subject.

 

“What’s that?” Phil replied.

 

“Would you call me just Dan, not Dani?” Dani - or Dan - asked.  “I just want to try it out, see how it feels.”

 

“Sure, Dan,” Phil said.  Dan stared at Phil as though in a trance.  No one had ever called them Dan before, and they liked it.  “Are you alive in there?”

 

“I love you,” Dan blurted.  “I mean it!  My name.  Dan.”  Phil laughed.  “Obviously I love you too.”

 

“Then you’re Dan,” Phil said.  “Nice to meet you, my name’s Phil.”

 

“Shut up,” Dan laughed, blushing.  “How long do you think it would take to get everyone to call me Dan?”

 

“I don’t know,” Phil mused.  “Maybe a week.”

 

It took three days.  Hogwarts was a different place than it had been three years ago, and things like names and pronouns were taken seriously, and none of it ever could have happened without Phil.

 

* * *

 

 

“I have something to say,” Dan said to Phil one day in October. 

 

“What’s that?” Phil asked, not looking up from his book.  They were both sat in the Great Hall.  Dan was doodling on some parchment, Phil was studying for Herbology.

 

“Can you look at me when I say it, it’s kind of important,” Dan said.

 

“Sorry, babe, what’s up?” Phil asked, shutting his book and looking at Dan intently.

 

“I… I’m moving out of the nonbinary dorm,” Dan said.

 

“What?” Phil asked, confused.

 

“I don’t feel like I belong there anymore,” Dan said.

 

“You’re moving back into the girl’s dorm?  But you were miserable there,” Phil said.

 

“No… I… I’m moving into the boy’s dormitory,” Dan said.  “I think I’m a boy.”

 

Silence followed this announcement from both Dan and Phil.  Finally, Phil said something.

 

“I’m not sure I understand,” Phil said, finally, which wasn’t the response Dan had been hoping for, but had expected, nonetheless.

 

“Gender is… it’s fluid.  It can change, and while I was basically the only pioneer of the nonbinary movement, I think I was only identifying as that because I was scared, or confused, or something,” Dan said.  “I didn’t want to be a girl so badly, but I was terrified of change, and I still am, but I’m doing better, and it’s because of your help.  I can say now that I am a boy.  I am Dan Howell.”

 

“I’m happy for you,” Phil said.

 

“Thanks,” Dan replied.  He wanted to ask Phil if he was okay with the change, but part of him didn’t want to know the answer, and part of him wanted to not need Phil’s approval as badly as he actually did.

 

“I think…” Phil said slowly.  “I think you’re very brave.  I remember you saying you didn’t belong in Gryffindor, but I always knew you did.  I love lions, and you’re my lion.”

 

“Really?” Dan asked.

 

“My beautiful, brave, lion, boyfriend,” Phil said.  Dan smiled.  It felt so good to finally acknowledge what he probably should have known all along.  Dan Howell was a boy.  And Dan loved the sound of it.  “Question.”

 

“Hit me,” Dan replied.

 

“Are you… are you going to change your body?” Phil asked.

 

“That’s kind of personal…” Dan trailed off.  Honestly, he wanted to say yes, but he was scared that he would change his mind again.

 

“Sorry,” Phil muttered.

 

“I would like to, but I am scared,” Dan said.  “Who knows what gender reassignment surgery or whatever is like in the wizarding world, does it even exist?  Do they offer that at St. Mungo’s?  I’ve never read anything on it, and as far as I know I actually started the transgender wizard movement.”

 

“I don’t think you _started_ the transgender wizard movement,” Phil said.

 

“Well, I did at Hogwarts,” Dan said.

 

“Suppose you could, though, by magic or muggle surgery or however,” Phil said.  “Would you want to change your body?”

 

“Of course I would,” Dan said quietly.  “I still hate everything about myself, that hasn’t changed in the last five years.”

 

“Would changing your body make you hate yourself less?” Phil asked.

 

“I think so,” Dan replied.  “I’m not sure, I’m still scared.  But, I look in the mirror and what I see doesn’t match what I feel.  The haircut isn’t fooling anyone, I still feel like a girl, even though I know I’m supposed to be a boy.”

 

“Whatever you decide to do, I’m here for you, Dan,” Phil said. “But do you think you should talk to an adult?”

 

“Like who?  Not my mother,” Dan snorted.

 

“Like Professor McGonagall,” Phil suggested.

 

“You think?” Dan asked.  Phil nodded.  “Okay.”

 

* * *

 

 

Phil walked Dan to McGonagall’s office door and gave him an encouraging smile.  Dan knocked.

 

“Come in,” came McGonagall’s voice from the other side.  Dan pushed the door open slowly.  Phil waited in the corridor.  “Mr. Howell.  It is Mr. Howell now, isn’t it?”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” Dan said, suddenly becoming aware of just how high-pitched his own voice sounded.

 

“I did approve your application to change dormitories again,” McGonagall said.

 

“Thank you,” Dan said, very nervous, wishing he had Phil with him for support, but knowing this was something he had to do alone.  “I was wondering if I could get some advice.”

 

“I’ll try my best,” McGonagall said.

 

“I was reading, over the summer, about muggle medicines - they have hormone replacement therapy, it’s supposed to help transgender people with their transitions, if you follow me?” Dan asked hopefully.

 

“I do follow you,” McGonagall replied.

 

“Do you know if wizards have anything like that?” Dan asked.

 

“I know there are potions that can act in that way, but Madame Pomfrey cannot issue you any unless you are 17 or have your parent or guardian’s permission,” McGonagall said.  Dan’s heart sank.  He’d never get his mother’s permission, and his birthday wasn’t until June.  “That being said, there are some less permanent magical alternatives I can point you to in the meantime.”  Dan beamed.  McGonagall had never not come through for him.

 

* * *

 

 

“How’d it go?” Phil asked when Dan joined back up with him in the corridor.

 

“She gave me a book,” Dan said.  “And advised me that she can neither confirm nor deny that the information that I want is in the book, but also that potions can be brewed by NEWT students in the spare classroom next to the kitchens.”

 

“Did she seriously?” Phil asked.

 

“Yeah, but it’s really complicated, it’s definitely beyond NEWT level, this is some fuckin next level chemistry shit,” Dan said, opening the book to the right page.

 

“Why did she have the right book?” Phil asked.

 

“I’m not going to question McGoogles, are you going to question McGoogles?” Dan asked.  Phil shook his head.  “You’re going to help me make this, right?”

 

“Of course,” Phil said.

 

* * *

 

 

It really was one of the most complicated potions either of them had ever seen.

 

“Are you sure it’s exactly twelve lacewings?” Dan asked for the third time, as he diligently stirred the potion.

 

“Yes, exactly twelve,” Phil said.  

 

“How lucky is it that Slughorn had already stewed lacewings?” Dan asked, dropping the flies in one by one.

 

“I don’t know, but I don’t know if I would drink something that has flies in it,” Phil said.

 

“What’s next?” Dan asked.

 

“Combine the fairy wings with the dandelion milk,” Phil read.

 

“How?” Dan asked.

 

“I don’t know, whisk them?” Phil guessed.

 

“Can I stop stirring yet?” Dan asked.

 

“No, you have to stir for four minutes, and then immediately add the fairy dandelion mix,” Phil said.

 

“Who the fuck wrote this potion?” Dan asked.  Phil flipped to the author line.

 

“Delia Smith,” Phil read.

 

“Just get the fairy wings and dandelion crap mixed together, it’s almost been four minutes,” Dan said.  Phil hastily mixed the two ingredients and got ready to pour them into the cauldron.  “Three… two… one…Go!”  Dan stopped stirring, and Phil dumped his ingredients.  The cauldron hissed and turned bright blue, letting off steam like crazy.

 

“Um, so far so good, now we heat it to exactly 170 degrees Celsius,” Phil said.

 

“Fuck!” Dan swore, trying to get his potions thermometer into the cauldron quickly, and prodding the flames with his wand.  The flames swelled too quickly, heating up the cauldron, but also catching Dan’s trousers on fire.

 

“Are you okay?” Phil asked.

 

“I’m on fire, do I look like I’m fucking okay?!” Dan yelled.  Phil waved his wand, extinguishing the flames on Dan’s pants.  “Shit!”  

 

“140…” Phil said, his eyes on the thermometer.  “150… 160… okay, take it off the heat!”  Dan waved his wand, and the cauldron levitated off the flame underneath it, and onto another cauldron stand next to it.

 

“Now Delia says we add three drops of Dittany, and wait for it to cool back down,” Dan said.  Phil reached for the essence of Dittany on the table, but Dan beat him to it, slowly dropping in the correct amount.  The potion turned red, still frothing from being heated far above its boiling point.  “And when it’s back at room temperature, we add one drop of syrup of Hellebore, and it should turn perfectly clear.”

 

“What is the potion supposed to do exactly?” Phil asked as they waited.

 

“You know, I’m not sure, I didn’t really read the whole thing,” Dan said.  “It’s said it helps with the symptoms of dysphoria.”

 

“Question.”

 

“Is the question ‘what is dysphoria’?” Dan asked.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“It’s the whole feeling like your body isn’t the right one thing,” Dan said.  “Like how I feel about my more feminine features.  And I think it’s a real word that doesn’t specifically apply to trans people, but generally it’s meant to apply to trans people who are not … happy with their bodies.  That’s putting it very lightly.”

 

“People like you,” Phil said.

 

“Exactly,” Dan replied.  The pair of them watched the potion cool for a few moments.  “Phil, you must have an opinion.  I know you want me to be happy, but I’d really like to know how you feel about this.”

 

“It’s your body and it’s how you feel about it, so it’s not my business,” Phil said.

 

“But you’re my boyfriend,” Dan said.  “Things are going to be different.  I’m going to be different.”

 

“I know, but sometimes change is good,” Phil said.  “Anything that’s going to make you more happy is a good thing.”

 

“In the five years we’ve known each other, I’ve gone from being a little girl to a transgender activist,” Dan said.  “Isn’t it weird to you that I’m not the same person you met on the Hogwarts Express?”

 

“But you are the same person I met on the Hogwarts Express,” Phil said.  “You’re the same witty, intelligent, and articulate person you’ve always been, and your heart is never going to change.  What’s on the outside isn’t what makes you _you_ , Dan.”

 

Dan didn’t quite know how to respond to that, in fact, he was pretty sure he was crying.  Phil always knew just what to say.  Dan looked at the thermometer for lack of coming up with something to say.

 

“Nearly room temp,” Dan said, picking up the syrup of Hellebore.  “I really hope we did this right.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Phil asked.  “We are pros at this, we should make tutorial videos and teach everyone how to do it.”

 

“What’s a video?” Dan asked.

 

“Just, add the drop,” Phil advised.

 

Dan added the one drop of Hellebore.  The potion’s surfaced shimmered and then turned completely clear.  They’d nailed it. 

 

Dan stood staring at it for several minutes.

 

“Are you going to try it?” Phil asked.

 

“Suddenly I’m scared,” Dan replied.

 

“Do you want me to hold your hand?” Phil asked.

 

“Actually, yes,” Dan said.  Dan’s left hand reached for Phil’s right and held it tight.  Dan’s shaking right hand held a teaspoon, which he dipped into the cauldron.  Even his eyes screwed themselves shut as he brought the spoon closer and closer to his face, finally dumping the contents into mouth and swallowing.  Somehow, it tasted like cherries, and Dan didn’t notice any immediate changes, so he opened his eyes, frowning.  There was no mirror in the classroom, but Dan looked down into the reflective surface of his potion.  Nothing seemed to be different.

 

“Did it work?” Phil asked.

 

“I don’t know,” Dan said, offhandedly, but then his eyes nearly bugged out of his skull as he heard his own voice, how much lower it had gotten.

 

“Did puberty suddenly hit you?” Phil almost laughed.  Dan laughed too, flicking through the pages in the book to see what was happening.

 

“Some changes are immediate,” Dan read, “but others take time, based on daily intake of the potion over long periods of time.  And everything is completely reversible.  This is almost like HRT.”

 

“That’s great,” Phil said happily.  Dan hugged Phil tightly.

 

“None of this could have happened without you,” Dan said.  “You saved me.  I love you.  Like honestly, properly, God I’m so fucking in love with you, Phil Lester.”

 

“I love you too, Dan Howell,” Phil replied.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to my tumblr http://alexxisnotokay.tumblr.com/post/128295681316/of-lions-and-pronouns


End file.
